get well soon..

we waited impatiently for him to get out of the bathroom.
we were tired after a long day.
i thot it would be a quick visit and
i'll be on my way home.

30mins passed slowly.
and when he finally came out,
with a white gauze like cotton,
my heart felt a tight squeeze.

and when he finally speaks,
everything begins to collapse,
tears just well up and
i lost it.

it was so painful.
already the waiting, the 30mins stare at the empty bed has made me thot of the loneliness and pain he has to go thru.
having see him in this pathetic state,
i wish i could be the one undergoing the operation.

yes, i cant bear to lose him.
it was a very difficult moment.

when he speaks, his voice was horse and low and he was struggling to speak, fighting the pain in his throat.
in the attempt to correct his crooked nose and swelling flesh in the nose so as to prevent the morning sinus, he underwent the operation.
however, the operation didnt go smoothly.
first attempt failed.
he came out, and started puking fresh blood.
excessive internal bleeding.
he was send into the operation room again.
2 opertations.
he's now in intensive care, under observation.
all weak and fragile.
its a pain to see a big man become so weak.

im sorry darling, but its really painful to see u in such a state.
i couldnt help crying.
i cried and cried and cried.
it was a minor operation.
but the thot of u in such a pain..
oh dear lord, what has happen again.

this is all so terrible.

and all i can do is, cry and cry and cry..

dear lord, dont ever take him away.
though i dont really like him,
dont, please dont, take him away.

dear brother, get well soon.
hope to see you kick my ass, pinch my face, and command me around.